Sunday, December 23, 2012

Movie Jail Relay Race

By Sati. Sunday, December 23, 2012 ,

Nostra and Terrence came up with great idea for a blogathon:
"It’s time to put some movie people in jail. The object is to give a prosecutor’s argument as to why these movie people belong in “Movie Jail” whether it be for violating the integrity of the content source of one their films, or being a sell-out, just making bad movies overall, getting worse as time goes on or not being in a good movie for many years. The baton will be passed to another blogger who will have to do the following:
In order to free someone from Movie Jail they have to do 2 things
1 – Give a defense attorney argument defending the plaintiff
2 – Pay bail: the cost of which is another case for the court and a prosecutor’s argument against the actor/director of their choice that will replace the one set free.
There must always be 10 people in Movie Jail."
Here are the inmates so far - M. Night Shyamalan, George Lucas, Clint Eastwood, Jennifer Aniston, Tom Cruise, Michael Cera, Robert De Niro, Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, Sam Worthington and Kristen Stewart


The person I want to defend is:
I study law and I want to be a public prosecutor. I'm completely not interested in defending the poor and vulnerable, but for God's sakes, somebody needs to defend Kristen Stewart. Enough is enough.

Nostra wrote:
" I will have to admit that I’ve only seen her perform in one movie (Snow White and the Huntsman), but based on that I would like to sent Stewart to movie jail. Even if she’s, to me at least, a first time offender I think she needs to go to jail for starring in such a big movie and lacking the charisma to make you root for her character. If the villain in the movie is cooler, than you are doing something wrong and you should serve some time."

Unfortunately, the criticism keeps coming from people who saw more than just SWATH, but to be fair - the other movies they've seen are probably just Twilight films. The truth is that when you play the heroine the job is way harder than playing a villain - it's the villain who gets to do the coolest things in those big movies. And she was up against the goddess herself - Charlize Theron! The villain in those films is always cooler, in fact I dare you to show me one movie where it's the hero who gets the juiciest, most memorable moments.

I always liked Kristen. She is not the greatest actress out there but the amount of crap she has to put up with always pissed me off and I like many of her performances. This poor girl has to deal with so much - not to mention the amount of media attention that happened when her affair with SWATH director was revealed. The girl is 22, let's just give her a freaking break. Everybody does stupid and terrible things when they are young.

As for Twilight movies - she is no Tilda Swinton. She can't rise a mediocre script to something great with her acting. Kristen did the best she could with the material she was given. I think even haters can admit that her work is better than Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson's acting efforts combined in each of these movies.

I feel that people who keep on hating on this girl really don't know her work. Judging her acting on such poorly scripted films like Twilight and Snow White and the Huntsman is just unfair. The truth is that she took on many interesting and courageous roles - she played teenage rape victim in Speak, girl suffering from Friedreich's Ataxia in Cake Eaters, young prostitute in Welcome to the Rileys and charming Marylou in this year's On the Road. Plus she was more than decent in Panic Room, Adventureland, criminally under seen The Yellow Handkerchief and really great in The Runaways where she played Joan Jett. That is pretty fucking impressive body of work for 22 year old girl. 

Who to put in the jail? Annoying Jennifer Lawrence who keeps saying one stupid thing after another? Irritating Justin Timberlake and Shia LeBouf? Oh, no. There is one person who I would genuinely like to see behind bars though to be honest I think he belongs in mental institution.
While it's great that many people use art as therapy, Lars Von Trier should be banned from making his rubbish movies. The man has serious psychological issues and he relives himself by torturing his actresses and stuffing his films with misogynistic, pretentious and downright terrible scenes. The only movie of his I liked was Melancholia, as at least it was toned down and we didn't have to endure ridiculous amount of humiliation and rape scenes. But it still doesn't make me forget about all the trash he made.

Von Trier is an attention whore. He is not even a director, he is a sick man with the movie camera who needs to humiliate both the actors and his characters because it's probably making him feel like less of a failure. There is a scene in Manderlay where Bryce Dallas Howard masturbates. Von Trier forced her to shoot the scene more than 30 times just for his own amusement. For the purpose of this "movie" a donkey was killed, which John C. Reilly found appalling and left the film.

Take Dogville. For the first part its a fine film. But then Von Trier figures no woman was raped for 1,5 hours and it's high time to do something about it. So Nicole Kidman spends the rest of the movie in a dog collar getting raped by whole village. In Antichrist Charlotte Gainsbourg's character bangs her head against the toilet repeatedly. Why? Who cares. In Breaking the Waves, Emily Watson's protagonist keeps getting raped in order to "prove her love". I'm rolling my eyes so hard right now.

Let's not forget Dancer in the Dark where Bjork's character can't even be hanged properly because Von Trier needs to see her suffer some more. In Antichrist he downright states women are evil and he gives the audience the close up of woman cutting off her own clitoris with rusty scissors. Go away man. Just go away.

His fans repeatedly state that these women are real heroines and that men in Von Trier's movies are weak. Of course they are. After all, how weak is the man behind these movies who needs to shoot the same thing about the same subject over and over again because it makes him feel better? It makes sense for him to model the men in his movies after him. Weak, pathetic being taking pleasure in seeing women suffer.

Here are few more things:
  • He broke up with his pregnant wife and moved in with their (much younger) babysitter.
  • He said -  I am the best film director in the world. [following the screening of Antichrist at the 62nd Cannes Film Festival]
  • He said he understands Hitler.
  • His hatred for women reportedly comes from the fact that his mother lied to him who his father was. Talk about petty.
  • Has said that each morning before filming, Björk would say "Mr. von Trier, I despise you," and spit at him.

Bjork, I love you.

I pass the blogathon to Alex Withrow of andsoitbegins!

34 comments:

  1. If Von Trier hates women so much, why do his actresses keep wining awards. Gainsbourg in AntiChrist. Dunst in Melancholia, Bjork in Dancer in The Dark. I belive he does write strong roles for women.

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    1. They keep winning because critics love giving awards to actresses who make sacrifices and act in horrible, tough and humiliating scenes. Why do you think Hathaway is getting backlash for Les Miserables? People keep saying she wants Oscar just because she played that role, easily the most suffering character this year. Theron - Monster, Berry - Monster's Ball, Monique - Precious...

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  2. Completely agree .

    I've said before to my movie friends ! that I alawys think stewart can do much better and the fact is she is good righ now . she's not that horrible . I don't know It's facebook or other social networks but she is the victim of the new generation . this will pass and the new victim rise soon !!!

    I wish my english was better and said double horrible things about von trier . I respect Art . But this is not art . this is Frumpy film making ... I don't care about his personal life and I simply tell his movies are bad .

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    1. It's just terrible how young actresses and celebrities are treated nowadays. She is living on display, paparazzi follow her and all of those crazy teen girls in hysterics after she cheated on Pattinson were just disturbing to watch.

      Glad you don't enjoy his movies either, I really only liked Melancholia other than for this one I see absolutely no appeal in the things he does.

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  3. I personally find Stewart decent. And my opinion of Von trier is that he makes great films(For the most part anyways), but he seems to have massive case of verbal diarrhea. I think he is one of those directors who should just stay behind the camera and shut up. Some directors can handle PR...Von trier is not one of those directors

    Also, this is the first time i've heard someone call Lawrence annoying. What things has she said that you found stupid?

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    1. The things he says are just terrible. I still think his comments in Cannes hurt Dunst's award chances.

      She said she hates shy people because she thinks it's her that makes them shy and it irritates her. Considering her fanbase are usually shy people, that was very stupid of her to say. She also told the story on Leno that she almost hit someone with her car when she thought she saw Honey Boo Boo. The fact she thought it was worth repeating was dumb enough but that story is just disturbing.

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  4. "I'm completely not interested in defending the poor and vulnerable". I think I know what you mean, but that sentence sounds evil haha.

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    1. :)

      I'm interested in criminal law and keeping truly evil people in jail. Defending is not my strong suit, I'm just better in finding arguments "against".

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  5. This is awesome.

    I'm equal parts glad and sorry that I now have firsthand knowledge of the lunacy that is Von Trier. Let's me understand your hate, which is good. But has permanently scared my soul, which is bad.

    I can't unseen that rusty scissors bit. Can't do it.

    Great post!

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    1. I actually saw almost all of his films, just so that the people couldn't say "Oh, you don't know what you are talking about!".

      You had the bad luck of watching his worst one and the biggest inside look into his fucked up brain :P

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  6. "There probably isn't a more polarizing young American actress in cinema today than Kristen Stewart. For those, like myself, who have followed and greatly admired her work since seeing Panic Room a decade ago we see an incredibly original and distinct young talent who has been able to slip into roles as varied as Bella Swan, Joan Jett and even Snow White. Whether the film has called for romantic yearning, gritty realism or ferocious physicality, Stewart has been able to essay each with a sharp sense of authority and purpose. To her many critics though, who can't seem to step away from their hatred of Twilight and the media's unbelievably sexist view of her personal life, she is a vacuum and an emotionless void without a ounce of talent...again have we been watching a different filmography play out this past decade?"

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    1. Beautifully written! I think she still needs some work and experience, but I agree she is talented. That whole backlash and media attention to her personal life is just disturbing.

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  7. You put one of my favorite filmmakers in prison! It's time for a jailbreak.

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  8. Glad to see someone defend Kristen Stewart! I'm not a particular fan of the Twilight films, and I never understood the loathing towards the series or her. I thought the fans deserved better produced material, but always thought the series received such backlash because the main character was a female (The trend continues with the Hunger Games, when Harry Potter series never received as much harsh criticism) Anyways, I'm happy to see her defended because she's not an atrocious actress, and her introverted personality is just who she is.

    (If I could, I would defend Tom Cruise....)

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    1. I'd love to read your defense for Cruise! I think he is a very good actor and he has a lot of charisma.

      I don't know about female protagonist issue, but there may be something to it. I quite enjoy Twilight Series, I find the films to be entertaining. The Hunger Games on the other hand - I really disliked the movie but Lawrence was definitely the best thing about it.

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    2. Thanks! I'm not quite sure how this blogathon works but if I was tagged, I would definitely do my best to defend him. :)

      That's interesting - I've heard that a lot of people didn't like The Hunger Games. I'm just starting to read the books now, after I saw the movie and liked it. I'll have to read your review on it! :)

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    3. Each person who is chosen gets to pass it to another blogger, the blogathons usually run for a long time so plenty of people has a chance to participate :)

      I was really bored by that movie :( The older supporting actors were great but the young ones, other than for Lawrence, were so bad. It just baffles me that the movie got so many positive reviews from critics.

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  9. Great post! Von Trier definitely has issues, but I do think he's made some great, if uncomfortable, films.

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    1. Thanks! I just never saw redeeming values in his movies, maybe except strong performances from leading ladies.

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  10. Ahah, I actually wish K-Stew stays in jail but interesting to read your argument nonetheless. As for Von Trier, I don't care for his movies. Even from the trailer I know his work is NOT for me, so yeah, lock him up for all I care :)

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    1. Just don't watch Antichrist :) It scars souls :)

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  11. Not one of Von Trier's films have ever appealed. Well, apart from Melancholia, but I still haven't got around to seeing it.

    K.Stew is a weird one. She's probably not done herself a favour by doing the Twilight films, in one respect, but on the flipside, she's been smart to have taken part in a franchise that has made her a household name. I thought she was good in Adventureland. I neither loathe nor like her.

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    1. I really liked her work in Adventurland, I just hope Saoirse Ronan won't receive such backlash over The Host, though I still don't understand why she decided to star in this one :/

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  12. Well, I am a confirmed bleeding heart progressive, and even I have to say the world needs good prosecutors more than it needs good defense attorneys. We all love a good 12 Angry Men or To Kill a Mockingbird moment, but the truth is that most defendants are liars. Of course, I'm married to a police officer.

    You're a credit to your profession -- you made your case well. I am persuaded to keep a more open mind about Kristen Stewart, who I'd written off. I will give Speak a go and maybe The Yellow Handkerchief.

    And how did I know you'd take this opportunity to call out von Trier? :-) He does seem like a seriously disturbed (albeit talented) mess of a human being -- I don't know if it's the alcoholism, a need for better psychiatric medications, or something else. My daughter is a huge fan of Breaking the Waves and Dancer in the Dark and defends him against allegations that he's misogynistic. It's always good to hear different points of view from smart film buffs. ;-)

    Along those lines, the only thing about which I have developed a firm and unwavering opinion is my refusal to see Antichrist. Because ... you know ... I might have to gouge out my eyeballs. Just curious, have you seen Haneke's The Piano Teacher? Is it just as bad, in your opinion?

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    1. From what I've seen there are just so many cases that only the most serious ones get through - petty ones are usually getting to the courtroom when they are close to statue of limitation, unless the criminal admits the deed and chooses the penalty, for some misdemeanor, say riding the bike drunk :)

      One of the many reasons I wouldn't want to be defense attorney is that I'd have to defend a person no matter what, even if I knew they were guilty, say of killing or raping someone. I wouldn't want that on my conscience. I think everyone needs to have defense attorney but in those situations I wouldn't be the person for the job.

      Speak is definitely worth seeing, it's a small indie film but it's quite powerful. The Yellow Handkerchief may not change your mind about Kristen, but it's a very good drama.

      Oh, that's actually going to be amusing - The Piano Teacher sits proudly in my top 100 favorite movies :lol: There is a thin line between a story that makes the point of humiliating and antagonizing women - as Von Trier does - and there are those films where it's clear that the writer and the director had compassion towards their disturbed heroines - Black Swan, Repulsion, Mulholland Drive, Young Adult, even. For me the Piano Teacher falls into the latter category.

      It's nowhere near Antichrist's levels, it's a different league really. There are some shocking and violent moments but it's all bearable and it's actually what the heroine wants, at almost all times in the movie.

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    2. That's interesting. I haven't seen either movie, but I know exactly what you mean. It isn't the material itself but the filmmaker's attitude toward the material. You almost make me want to see Antichrist and The Piano Teacher to see whether I agree.

      I will definitely see Speak. I read the novel from which it was adapted, and it was quite good.

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    3. I highly recommend The Piano Teacher. If you really want to see Antichrist, my advice would be to get a bottle of wine to drink while watching it :)

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    4. Hoe big a bottle will I need to get through this movie? I just wanna be prepared. ;-)

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    5. Big one:D But it may be a bad idea watching it drunk, it tends to make things scary, I saw one American Horror Story episode this way and I was scared to open my closet or look under my bed :D

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  13. I am not a fan of Von Trier's films and agree with his placement for several of the reasons you state, plus, most of his movies are so slow and boring.

    I don't, however, support the release of Kristen Stewart! She must be put back in jail! Hurry somebody. haha

    Thanks for playing! :)

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  14. "In playing young, vulnerable, awkwardly beautiful women, Kristen Stewart draws continual fire from critics and Twilight fans alike. It's not her looks they object to, but the direction in which she herself looks outward from the screen and weighs and judges and forgives the hearts of those watching, and those who think themselves impure, beyond saving, recoil from her absolving gaze. They are expecting perhaps a girl who will wince and smooth her hair back when they leer at her, a shy dove on display. Instead she's disheveled and pale and her body is never put on display for the camera, at least not the leering way the shirtless bodies of her male co-stars are. It's the reverse of the usual dichotomy.

    But that forgiving tenderness in her eyes for even the ugly toads is a rare thing, it's what Stewart shares with Marilyn Monroe. Both of them love, or at least 'feel sorry for' the creatures most of us have cast off. MM felt compassion for the Creature from the Black Lagoon in Seven Year Itch, and didn't even mind flirting with Tom Ewell if it got her some air conditioning. Hey, princesses have kissed worse frogs for far less, and that's what Stewart as Bella provides, she is the princess who sees the beauty in the beast a priori to getting to know him. She's Julia Adams choosing the creature over Richard Carlson. Our pitchfork and torch hands tremble with the instinctual desire to burn her at the stake for this transgression. When her lip trembles and her eyes cross looking up at her current love object, waiting for that slow kiss, it becomes a delirious swooning moment perfect for a Rohmer film, but in the US, this kind of liberated outward gazer--the woman daring to see instead of just being seen --is an unforgivable offense."

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    1. What a beautiful article, it's so great to see another person here defending her!

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